There's a huge war in my head, debating on whether to suck it up and be sad the rest of my life or just end it now

I ruin almost  everything I touch.and haleematu hopes she wont ruin everything good in my life Ameen!

I ruin everything I touch.and i hope i wont ruin everything good in my life. Ameen ya Allah !!

Last night i thought of cutting myself   ( i know you wondering or thinking about what am saying??)  and the whole time i kept thinking“why would i do that it’s so point less” but then kept remembering how it used to make me feel better for some reason. I’m just way to depressed anymore. Where are the people i care about when i need them the most </3 ?

L