I don't know how to hold on....to anything. In the end, i always end up letting go because am scared. But why am i scared? what am i scared of? im pretty sure once i find the answer's to those questions , i'll finally be able to hold on.

Sometime you meet certain people that can touch your soul  in certain ways most people cant . But you  have to let them go because you realize that it just isn't the best time in your life for them to come.it seems like you meet the perfect people just when you cant handle them ):

Its December and i cant believe the year is almost ending in a couple of days, seems like it was just yesterday when i was shooting fire crackers, laughing and calling my #1's to wish them a happy and successful new year.


Too much drama has happened this year , most of them i cannot share because its basically personal stuff *wink*!

I spend a large proportion of my day reading novels, random things , chatting  & anticipating posts. A post by one of my favorites blogs ( which don't tend to be the big ones, but i still like to keep up with some of the "original" bloggers me so they have motivated me so much  in the past ) has become as much of a highlight during my day as a particular meal or snack ( and we all know how much i look forward to my food (:
LOL i skipped from things that happened last year to my favorite blogs, anyways this year !

I figured out soo many things, I have become happy with my self & environment , not that it wasn't before but this year solidified everything. The real friends shined through during bad times in life. I dropped a ton of people and jut analyzed and observed a lot more. I think i listened more to what people had to say. I earned a lot more freedom, I indulged in anything, Everything, Anyone,Everyone i wanted to. I think i grew irresponsible and a bit careless just a bit ):   at one point but it was summer non-cholant. I kept better track of things, I reflected , I made some unforgettable memories (:     I was impulsive , I did random things , I climbed  ( that swing) I laughed ( @ peoples jokes) I surfed ( a lot ) I screamed ( when i got scared )  I yelled ( when i did something wrong or made something up) I slept ( like a baby * embarrassed* ) I ate ( soosai ) I worked my ass off ( LOL *packing*)  & finally i buckled down and became more responsible and accountable for my actions and deeds. I'm not saying the year dint go hard but i learned my limits and i am completely aware of my surroundings. i built new relationships with really outstanding people ( am sure your one ) .  I grew mentally ( Noooooo says mama ):   , I found inner peace ( says me ) , I let go of some terrible habits ( Says everyone)  I rekindled old friendship from the past ( i wont mention any )  I gained confidence when i needed it the most ( says baba)


This year was not anything remarkable but it was okay Allahmdulliah ! so basically am looking forward to another year of growing & learning Inshallah (:

Peace!!!x

Random survey !!!

1. Made out with for more than 3 minutes?                   no  - __-
2. Slept in a different bed?                                          yeah i sleep in different kinds!
3.Made out in a movie theater?                                     yau naga ikon Allah -___-
4. Made out with two different people in one night?        i promise i Wunt answer any ( made out) question
5.Thought your cousin was hot?                                    yeah , & she/he still is!
6.Been in love?                                                             yeah yes yeah!
7.slept past noon?  no
8. Take a shower with the opposite sex?     oh ni Haleematu
9. gone over the speed limit? i don't drive
10.painted your room? yes
11.drove a car? check my answer to question (9)
12. danced in front of your mirror? ha ha yes
13. gotten a hickey?  -___-
14. been dumped? LOL i dump them dai (:
15. stole money from a friend? ha ha maybe
16.gotten in a car with people you just met? yap
17. been in a fist fight?  probably
18. snuck out of your house?  yeah (:
19.Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back?   oh please tell me about it ):
20. Been arrested?  A'azubillah
21. Made out with a stranger ?    i made a promise *wink*
22. left your house without telling your parents?   Ha ha sosai ma!
23. Had a crush on your neighbor?  they are not cute -__-
24. ditched school to do something more fun?  yeah (:
25. slept in a bed with a member of the same or opposite sex?  same
26. seen someone die?  yeah ( may Allah see us through, Ameen)
27. Been on a plane?   no. whats that  -___-
28. kissed a picture? LOL, yeah 
29. slept in the opposite sex's bed?   -___-
30. Love someone or miss someone right now?  yeah both and i hope they feel the same way.
31. laid on your back & watch cloud shapes   go by?   i did but i didn't lay my back.
32. Made a snow angel? but i would try this winter.
33.played dress up? hah yeah
34. cheated while playing a game ? who doesn't?
35. been lonely? yeah
36. fallen asleep at school?  no
37.been to a club? nop, & INSHALLAH i Wunt ( may Allah guide us to the right path0
38. felt an earthquake? yes
39. touched a snake? ewwwww ):
40. Ran a red light?? I DON'T DRIVE !
41.been suspended from school?  ohh no
42. had detention? no, *i am a good girl*
43. Been in a car? Ikon Allah 
44. hated the way you look? sometimes
45. witnessed a crime?  yeah
46. Been lost??  ha ha yap
47. Been to the opposite side of the country? which country?
48. felt like dying from embrassment?  yeah );
49. cried your self to sleep? yeah * when i was getting over .........
50. sang karaoke? nop but it would be a great idea
51. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? yeah * i Wunt mention what*
52. laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose?? i hate to admit this but yes (:
53. caught a snowflake on your tongue? nop, but that's cool
54. Kissed in the rain?? ohhhh ):
55. sung in the shower?  yeah
56. Had s dream that you married someone? LOL, not someone alone but many
57. played getting married?? ha ha yeah when we were little
58.  got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?? damn, try it first
59. ever gone to school partially nude?? *haram*
60. been a blind date? -___-
61.sat on a roof top? yeah
62. ever been to sacred to watch scary movies alone? i don't watch moves , talk less of a scary one 
63.played chicken? nop, but sounds interesting
64.been pushed into the pool with all your clothe on? nah, but someone should try dong that to me and *lips r sealed
65.Been told your hot by a computer stranger? hah yeah * clever bot*
66. broken a bone? yeah *twice*
67. didn't take a shower for a weak? damn would i be taking this survey if i did that -__-
68. been easily amused?  yeah
69.laugh so hard you cry? lmaoo *2hours ago*
70. Cheated on a test? *aysha can like to answer this*
71.forgotten someones name? yup
72.blacked out from drinking? water?
73.played a prank on someone? ohh yeah LOL
74. gone to a late night movie? i Wunt answer this
75. Made love to anything not human? LOL yes
76. failed a class?? damn *Allah ya kyauta*
78.played an instrument for more than 10 hours? nop
79. cheated on a girlfriend / boyfriend?   -__-
80. did you celebrate the 4Th of July?? yeah 
81.thrown strange objects? yeah *when am boiling mad*
82. felt like someone else? maybe
83. thought about running away? from where?
84. ran away? to where/
85. Had detention & not attended it? no
86. made parents cry??  0_o who does that?
87. cried over someone?? sosai ma ):
88. owned more than 5 sharpies?? yeah i have all the colors
89. Dated someone more than once? is that what we call re-dating ?
90. Have a dog? nop, am scared of them ):
91. own an instrument? yeah
92.been in a band? nop, but soon (:
93. drank 25 sodas a day? * Ina ruwan IMAN* LOL
94. broken a CD? yeah
95. shot a gun? 0_o
96. been on my space for more than 5hours? yes
97. fell asleep at the computer?  probably
98.Have a major crush on someone right now??    no, minor ne ma -__-
99. Have a religion?? yeah ( Islam)
100. thought about what people would say at your funeral?? LOL yeah!


















    




      

I was watching a show about a man who cheated millions of dollars from people who thought they were
Making an investment. The man was spending the money on anything & everything ( Like Iman -__-)
He had houses, cars & fancy clothes , everything a person could ever want.
Someone on the show jokingly said he was living the American Dream. The sad truth is that to lots of people
The American Dream is getting to have everything you want & get away with it.


Living the american dream isn't always as it seems
Fancy cars, movie stars & pain filled lives
Ive got it all, my life is good , everything seems as it loud"
I can do it myself . life is all about me"
That' s what they say 'cause they cant see"
Pain filled lives with no hope to find , for  to true  happiness they are blind .
"Do what you want for tomorrow we die . its the way many live but inside they cry ):
They cant see why their world is a mess. They've lost their way but Wunt confess
To surrender is the only way to be free. but if they Wunt hear it they'll never see.
We must show the world how to loose their chains, they really need to care for their pains.

Happy New Year To All the muslims!

New Years come & Go
Pieces of time all in a row
As we live our life ,Each
second and minute, we know we are
Privileged to have people in it.

our Appreciation never ends, for our greatest blessings  ( family & friends)
As a new years starts, as an old one ends, we contemplate what brought us joy, & we think of our loved ones
Recalling the happy times, remembering how they enriched our lives.

As the fresh & bright new year ( 1433) arrives, Leeymaer wishes every Muslim a happy new Islamic year and many more & May Allah guide and protect us and guide us to the straight path, Ameen!

Boss lady !!!

Friends are forever & cousins are for life!

Happy birthday Ayshe AKA besty's sister !

Wake up in the morning with a fragrant so sweet
Cakes &  ice-creams &  candies you get to eat
Friends and family & celebration all around
With all the happiness and joy You'll always be crowned

May Allah make all your wishes come true &  May the sweetness of your birthday cake stay with you forever
Allah ya raya mana ke (: